I was a wreck the last time I posted on here. I’m still a wreck, but less like the Hindenburg and more like an ancient ruin kept alive by the trees growing in the cracks in its stone. The horrors persist, but so do I. So do we all, I suppose, it’s the only way to be.
There’s no alternative to survival. There can’t be. There won’t be. So yes, modern life is a screaming, roaring nightmare, each moment worse than the one before it, but I’ll cope. We’ll cope. Yes.
I think this is why I like vintage things. I bought an old desk from Facebook Marketplace recently. It’s a secretary desk. The lid opens up. I love its rickety legs, (slightly) broken chair, and its scuffed exterior. I wonder who used to use it. A child, I think, because there are paint streaks on the underside–red flecks and lime green glitter. I’m trying to be conscious about what decor I bring into my space these days. I like old things because they remind me of what it means to exist beyond the chaos of your times.
There’s a danger to nostalgia, too, of course. Romanticising the past is how we repeat it. But you know, that’s a longer conversation for another day.
For now, this is my writing desk. And I’ve been writing a lot. I’ve finished Silvering, the novel I’ve been working on for the last several years. (It was also my MFA thesis.) I’m really proud of it, and I can’t wait to talk about it a little more as time goes on! I’m working on querying it, for now.
I can’t change the course of world events or what feels like the death march of technology, but I will keep creating. It keeps me buoyant, and that’s what helps me float above it all.
Damini Kane 